I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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