Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
