not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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