At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
