he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
