He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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