jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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