He had one of those small greek statue penises
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's blow job season.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
