And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
