So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
