Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
