New low: just hacked my moms facebook
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just googled if crying burns calories
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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