I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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