wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
