if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
