she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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