i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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