I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
