bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
