You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
