Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
