you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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