I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize