am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
