drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
