Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
