Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize