I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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