I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize