The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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