Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
