its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
