I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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