just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
