My sheets look like a crime scene.
Non-Jews are for practice
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
