Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize