No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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