Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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