do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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