Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
zippers are such a cool invention
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
