I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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