i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
