I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize