just tell him i said nine months
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
