Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
