his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize