Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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