Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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