Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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