We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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