look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
