i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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