this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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