Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
