break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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