Apparently you make a good broom.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
