So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
