Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
