Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
