If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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