just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Be still, my beating vagina.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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