he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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