Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
